My Child Speaks

My Child Speaks
and the dark angel gave the white angel a feather from his wing, the only thing to destroy him, could she use it............
Showing posts with label trauma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trauma. Show all posts

Thursday, 9 June 2011

OUT OF MY DEPTH

I am going no where very fast. Sometimes I think we are pushing forward and then I realise we are back where we started. Yesterday I took one of my children to Family Therapy, yes we had been before but there has been a revamp of the center and our previous therapist has retired. So we were met by two new therapists. Of course everyone does things differently and though they seem very keen I still feel like we are further back than what we were in the first place.

They wanted to know what we wanted from them, it threw me a little because sometimes I just feel like I am the one teaching everyone else what to do, what to look for, what we need and how to help. Do they really have the experience and knowledge to actually help ease the pain of my child.

I feel that they are just not "getting it". I am a mother, my children disclosed abuse to me, I am out of my depth here, why are you asking me what to do ? Why is there no one available who can help my child to cope and help make sense of what has happened ? When you disclose and ask for help there should be someone there to help.

Only last year I asked about EMDR. Have to check with the courts incase we contaminate evidence. Asked again yesterday and they say same thing again, really they should know this.  I was able to tell them the answer because I picked the phone up and asked the court myself it was not hard, really!
 
What it comes down to is I have lost faith all over again and trying to hide it from my child in the hope that its just my stupid anxieties and that the next meeting will hold some promise of competence and help.
 

Microsoft Clipart RF/Corbis





What I would give to be on top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere and be able to scream out my frustration.

Sunday, 29 May 2011

SORRY NO JUSTICE TODAY

Justice sorry no such thing, why, because the people in charge, the government who make our laws are detached from the reality of child abuse. They come from a world in which the only way pain is inflicted upon them is through money. Money talks and loudly, they would pay to keep a Bank Robber in jail but not a Paedophile. Theft of money hurts them more than the effects of people who rape and abuse children. To them its something that they have no empathy with, they too are abusers, abusers of power who do not and can not empathize with the pain, trauma and psychological effects of such an act on a child never mind an adult. They choose not to see, they choose to believe an abuser is sorry, give them bail, light sentences that in no way reflects the crime. Reality check, it only serves to encourage these vile crimes. They house them within our communities with our children. They have their opportunities to re offend handed to them on a plate. We accept this, we have not been able to find an alternative to deal with child abusers because we choose to ignore what is happening right under our noses. Is there an answer or a solution, my belief is there is an answer for everything, we may not know it yet but if we all opened our eyes and ears together we could find one.

NOT JUST WORDS NOW

RAPE  ABUSE  SODOMY  PAIN  CRIME
  FEAR DISASSOCIATION  COURT  SELF   HARM  DEFENCE ANGER  HATE  TRAUMA  SUICIDE  POLICE  DRUGS
  INSOMNIA  FLASHBACKS   PAEDOPHILE  PSYCHOTIC PSYCHOPATHIC  TWISTED   PETRIFIED  MASK  JUSTICE  LAWYER  

Monday, 16 May 2011

Aftermath

When the abuse finally stops and there is no more need to fight to survive it. When they are left with the aftermath of this vile crime it then becomes a reality to be processed by the mind. I have watched the melt down of my children and it has been agonizing torture. Once they have disclosed and spoken those words there is no hiding or running away anymore, they have tried everything to escape their painful and traumatic memories. With a crime like this I don't think that enough focus is put on the mental suffering that these children and eventually adults go through. Reading blogs from other survivors this trauma to the mind is not repaired, it will carry on into adulthood, it is permanent. Taking years not to get better but to finds ways of coping. The not so lucky ones will use anything so they do not have to face what has happened. Alcohol, drugs and the ultimate escape suicide.We will never realise the damage that has been done to these children and make no mistake, caught or not caught the abuser will carry on with their life and the victims they are the ones who have the life sentence.