Chasing Sleep

I lie in my bed most nights listening to my child. Sleep does not come easy, memories are a plague for my children, what must it be like to be petrified to close your eyes for fear of what you might see. My child says it transports you back to the time of abuse. The abuse is happening right in front of my child standing at the memory. To close your eyes and relive it night after night and what can I do to help, sometimes child will come into my room when it is really bad. We make child a bed on the floor at the bottom of mine as child is too big to sleep with me now. Just lately it is getting worse, I am not really sure what to do any more. Does abuse never leave them alone. So tired today.

http://karenswhimsy.com/public-domain-images

Aftermath

When the abuse finally stops and there is no more need to fight to survive it. When they are left with the aftermath of this vile crime it then becomes a reality to be processed by the mind. I have watched the melt down of my children and it has been agonizing torture. Once they have disclosed and spoken those words there is no hiding or running away anymore, they have tried everything to escape their painful and traumatic memories. With a crime like this I don't think that enough focus is put on the mental suffering that these children and eventually adults go through. Reading blogs from other survivors this trauma to the mind is not repaired, it will carry on into adulthood, it is permanent. Taking years not to get better but to finds ways of coping. The not so lucky ones will use anything so they do not have to face what has happened. Alcohol, drugs and the ultimate escape suicide.We will never realise the damage that has been done to these children and make no mistake, caught or not caught the abuser will carry on with their life and the victims they are the ones who have the life sentence.