My Child Speaks

My Child Speaks
and the dark angel gave the white angel a feather from his wing, the only thing to destroy him, could she use it............

Monday 8 August 2011


Guilt is visiting me today with a vengeance. Mainly because I had visited a survivors blog where in she blames her mother because she did not see what was happening to her when she was abused. I found it incredibly painful to read. I am at a loss to explain how your child can be abused under your nose. All I can say is that is where the grooming part comes in. As a mother I asked questions, actually I never stopped but I always came up against a brick wall.

Their abuser had an answer for everything. My children too scared to say anything that might give the abuse away and forced to protect the abuser, doctors who think you are an anxious and over protective mother and don't listen to a word you have to say.

In the end I believed that whatever my senses were telling me was all in my head and that I was mentally ill. It was what everyone around was implying. I too am well aware I failed to protect my children and yes I let them down. I live with this and it is unbearable and inexcusable. I will never be able to heal the damage that it has done.


  1. PLEASE,PLEASE do not believe this about yourself. ABUSERS KNOW HOW TO MANIPULATE EVERYONE...EVERYONE...
    This is not your fault. I will never believe this. I have been through similar feelings about my daughter. Her abuse was more emotional, physical and inappropriate boundaries from the dad. It made me feel uncomfortable, but I did not know any better. He had the CONTROL. I doubted my motherly instincts...I thought I was the 'crazy' one. We do the best we can do with the knowledge we have. You did the best you could do under the circumstances. You HAVE to believe this. ((HUGS)) Take care...
    Peace, Nico

  2. I shall remember this I did the best I could with the knowledge I had because it is so true x

  3. I was sexually abused from the age of 5-12....I now suffer with DID and alters because i still can't handle the memories..I still wuestion where my mom was could she not see...but i know she saw what she could handle..she loved me the only way she knew...forgive yourself anyway you on your children now..that's what they will can change the always..XOXOXOXOXO

  4. Please do not blame yourself. You were aware of something being wrong and you acted on it but your surrounding blocked your efforts with all their ability. And abusers are so good at manipulating truth and people around them. What happened happened. You can not change anything about that. But what you can change is to give your children all the help they need now. That you believe them in fact always believed even though you never talked will help them more than anything. You know my grandma did not do anything about the abuse her son my father did. She was aware of it in a way but did not know what to do. But when I talked to her she said she is so sorry that she could not do anything and that saying sorry gave me a push to go on and heal. Guilt will not change anything. But concentrating on a good future for all of us wil!

  5. My heart goes out to you. This is a heartbreaking story. You are doing so share your story and to help others learn and grow and recover.


Truly Touched