I am going no where very fast. Sometimes I think we are pushing forward and then I realise we are back where we started. Yesterday I took one of my children to Family Therapy, yes we had been before but there has been a revamp of the center and our previous therapist has retired. So we were met by two new therapists. Of course everyone does things differently and though they seem very keen I still feel like we are further back than what we were in the first place.
They wanted to know what we wanted from them, it threw me a little because sometimes I just feel like I am the one teaching everyone else what to do, what to look for, what we need and how to help. Do they really have the experience and knowledge to actually help ease the pain of my child.
I feel that they are just not "getting it". I am a mother, my children disclosed abuse to me, I am out of my depth here, why are you asking me what to do ? Why is there no one available who can help my child to cope and help make sense of what has happened ? When you disclose and ask for help there should be someone there to help.
Only last year I asked about EMDR. Have to check with the courts incase we contaminate evidence. Asked again yesterday and they say same thing again, really they should know this. I was able to tell them the answer because I picked the phone up and asked the court myself it was not hard, really!
What it comes down to is I have lost faith all over again and trying to hide it from my child in the hope that its just my stupid anxieties and that the next meeting will hold some promise of competence and help.
What I would give to be on top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere and be able to scream out my frustration.
They wanted to know what we wanted from them, it threw me a little because sometimes I just feel like I am the one teaching everyone else what to do, what to look for, what we need and how to help. Do they really have the experience and knowledge to actually help ease the pain of my child.
I feel that they are just not "getting it". I am a mother, my children disclosed abuse to me, I am out of my depth here, why are you asking me what to do ? Why is there no one available who can help my child to cope and help make sense of what has happened ? When you disclose and ask for help there should be someone there to help.
Only last year I asked about EMDR. Have to check with the courts incase we contaminate evidence. Asked again yesterday and they say same thing again, really they should know this. I was able to tell them the answer because I picked the phone up and asked the court myself it was not hard, really!
What it comes down to is I have lost faith all over again and trying to hide it from my child in the hope that its just my stupid anxieties and that the next meeting will hold some promise of competence and help.
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What I would give to be on top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere and be able to scream out my frustration.
I hear your frustration and I am very sorry you have to go through all of this. What kind of question is that to ask you...what do you want from them? I don't understand.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are not angry with me.
Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that I didn't see this post on the 9th. I don't know how I missed it.
As a therapist and someone who has experienced what you are going through I feel physically sick at your situation. The pain and the helplesness that you sometimes feel.
Yes, I can say that a good EMDR therapist would be helpful. If this is what you want say so. It's a pain you had to 'start again' with a new therapist-maybe they wanted to make sure they would meet your needs, but true not a helpful question. (Usually a way of finding a goal-latest fad CBT)
You are fighting and still standing, if you need to clarify, find support, shout, cry, we are hear.
We refuse silence. As always {}{}
friend.
@sheepfoldcarer.
Re-did this as previous comp spelled badly! Could not delete it-sorry
12 June 2011 08:04
I cannot imagine the anguish you must be feeling.
ReplyDeleteI can tell you, as I have read the latest post down to this one, I am deeply moved and touched that you are working so hard, fighting so hard to get help for your children.
When we were children and were abused, at first, both parents were on board to help us. They even drove us to the DA's office and had us write statements and filed papers to prosecute. However, within two weeks, my father (pastor) was asked publicly by my rapist (deacon in his church and his best friend) to forgive him.
My Dad said, "I forgive you." He then drove us back to the DA's office, told the DA we were dropping the charges and going on with our lives.
My sister and I chose to testify anyway. My father made it a point to make sure we didn't speak of the rapes again. In fact, he told us to ask the Lord to forgive us and then let it go. My passive mother, followed. . . broken in my father's footsteps and left us to deal with this.
I am 42 and here I sit with it.
So, Mama of sweet children, Mother of Justice, you are my hero! I know it's hard to be the educator when you need to be the one who is allowed to fall into the lap of someone who can hold you while you go through this with your children.
You are doing a great job!