Just been visiting one of the many blogs I visit. A blog I love to visit because of my admiration for this person and all she has endured and continues to battle with. As I left her a message and was about to leave I glance over her blog in case I had missed something and low and behold there it was. One of those mini gadgets that if you press play it plays a song the blogger has put on her blog. Only it wasn't the gadget itself but the song she had chosen.
Today I had had a normal day, haven't really had one of those for ages. A day when my brain was at peace within itself, calm almost asleep. It enabled me to catch up on all the jobs that I had been neglecting and I hardly had one flashback or thought about the reality of our lives. Yes a normal day, I am not sure how it happened or if I will have another but I have felt a release today and felt good at what I have been able to accomplish in one day. I have even made plans to fix the floor in the bathroom and redecorate it too, something I have had absolutely no motivation or even a thought for over these last months.
So there I was I had just sat down after running around catching up on all my chores. Taking up my position for the night. Feet up, coffee in hand and laptop on lap. A lot of the time I try not to listen to music because of the emotional effect it has on my moods but coming face to face with this song I knew I was going to listen to it and yes I knew it would take me back to a place I am afraid to go back to, because of the pain and utter despair I was feeling, felt. The song R.E.M. Everybody Hurts and if you have been where I was you will know what this song is about and if you do in the words of R.E.M. Hold On !!!