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I was looking at my comments today, I was left a message from a survivor saying how she wished she had a mother like me. It was such a lovely comment and it helped me to cry ( something I find hard to do ) even if it was just a little, because all I want to do is be able to cry, cry, cry and cry. Why would such a lovely comment make anyone cry. I cry because how can I be all that I want to be to my children when they were being abused right under my nose.
Once you knew you did something about it. I had a "mother" that not only knew, but helped perpetuate the abuse.
ReplyDeleteDo not blame yourself. What is important is that you are finding the help for your children NOW. You are beside them and supporting them so they can heal. NO ONE EVER DID THAT FOR ME. It is okay to cry...in face crying will help you find your strenght. Crying is for strong people and you are strong. 'LET YOUR TEARS FLOW. LET THEM WATER YOUR SOUL'. Know that I am here and I am listening and I do know the pain your children are going through. But they WILL heal. Never give up hope. Please take care.
ReplyDeletePeace, Nico
Thankyou both for your comforting comments, you will never realize how much it means to me, (((hugs)))
ReplyDeletemother4justice x
The fact that you are protecting them and are angry and upset for them will mean the world to them and will help them heal trust me, I can tell from the lovely supportive words you have left me that they are lucky to have you. You aren't just helping your children you are helping me, a complete stranger, it shows what a lovely heart you have. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been able to comment much on other peoples blogs as i have been in a dark place myself. Re-reading your recent posts, the first thing that enters my mind is sadness, sadness at what happened to your children, sadness at the pain your having to deal with knowing that, but then a second thought came and it stayed with me. These posts are not about sadness, they are about love and victory. The love you have for your children is immense, the way you are trying to promote and educate people now is inspiring. You have a big kind heart and your children are lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteNot realising the abuse doesn't make you a bad mother, we are all human and we all would never dream that that could be going on. the fact you ended it, loved your children and are now supporting them and writing this blog to help other peoples shows what an amazing mother you are!
Please remember that x
my mother knew, i didn,t know she knew, when she shaved my hair off and dressed me as a boy, and still blamed me for what my father, her husband did, i left home, i ran away too young, i was raped and nearly sold into slavery, i didn,t realise i had a lucky escape till along time, i went back, cos my dad offered to leave home if i would, but i couldn,t bear to split up the family so i kept the secret, only to find, from my mothers own mouth, yelling at me, when finally i broke down in my mid thirties, that she,d always known, that i was a devil and realised that she had to blame me, to continue her life, it was a shock, massive, but i came to understand, that in the time it happened, no one would have helped, or supported her if we,d left, she was also under his influence, which was sadistic and more, i felt pity for her, but she has never shown anything but contempt, and jealousy for me, i pity her for that too, what kind of marriage was that ? along my way i have met others, whose mothers believed and supported them, were outraged when they found out, or shocked, angry, hurt, and wished my mum had been, but i don,t envy you, in your position, at all, how awful, to realise that this has happened, and i can,t find words that can express my heartfelt ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, for how it must be for you, just send you love, and wish i had a mum with such strength, heart, empathy and love, that could overcome that barrier that my mum had.
ReplyDeleteIt hurts to know how you were treated, to me nothing comes before my children thank god one of them found the courage after such a long time of abuse to speak out. My heart goes out to you too, stay strong and know that I am thinking of you and shall speak out for you too.
ReplyDelete