Guilt

Guilt is visiting me today with a vengeance. Mainly because I had visited a survivors blog where in she blames her mother because she did not see what was happening to her when she was abused. I found it incredibly painful to read. I am at a loss to explain how your child can be abused under your nose. All I can say is that is where the grooming part comes in. As a mother I asked questions, actually I never stopped but I always came up against a brick wall.

Their abuser had an answer for everything. My children too scared to say anything that might give the abuse away and forced to protect the abuser, doctors who think you are an anxious and over protective mother and don't listen to a word you have to say.

In the end I believed that whatever my senses were telling me was all in my head and that I was mentally ill. It was what everyone around was implying. I too am well aware I failed to protect my children and yes I let them down. I live with this and it is unbearable and inexcusable. I will never be able to heal the damage that it has done.